


That Would Be Enough

by codenametargeter



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Flagrant abuse of musical inspiration, Hurt/Comfort, My response to a blindingly painful episode is to write fic, space married
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-07
Updated: 2016-04-07
Packaged: 2018-05-31 18:09:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6481402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/codenametargeter/pseuds/codenametargeter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the wake of Malachor, Hera tries to help Kanan through this latest trial.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That Would Be Enough

She’d barely been able to keep her hands off of him since they got back. It wasn’t in their usual ‘rip each others clothes off’ sort of way. It was because she had to keep reassuring herself that he was really back and that this wasn’t all some terrible nightmare. When he had left, he’d promised that he’d see her again and at the time, she’d thought that it would be enough. Irony had proved to be a cruel mistress.

Kanan’s steps were still hesitant, unsteady as they left the medbay. “Here, love,” Hera said quietly, wrapping his arm around her waist. “I’ve got you.”

“Thanks,” he replied, voice unusually subdued even as he made an effort to flirt like his usual self. “You’re much nicer to hold on to than Chopper.”

“I should hope so,” she teased lightly, weaving her fingers over his on her hip. "Left here."

They turned relatively smoothly. Hera tried to ignore the sympathetic glances that other Rebel soldiers sent their way as they passed them. She knew they meant well but they just kept adding to her ever-growing feeling of guilt for not being there. This was her crew, her family and--

"Stop." Jolted out of her thoughts, she halted mid-step. Kanan shook his head. "No, I meant thinking like that."

"Since when can you hear thoughts?" she asked, resuming their slow return to their ship.

His grip on her hip tightened. "I can't-- just feelings really but I could feel the guilt coming off of you even if we didn't share a bond. You're all but shouting it."

She took a deep breath, trying to clamp down on those emotions. "Sorry, love."

"Don't do that either." His tone was sharper than normal and a second later, she could feel him deflate a little. "I didn't mean to--"

"It's okay," she reassured him, gladder than ever to finally see the Ghost come into view. "We're almost there. Let's get you back to your room."

"It's strange," Kanan remarked quietly as they walked up the boarding ramp.

"What is?"

"How... different it is to use the Force to see than it is to use to it to block blaster bolts. I can feel you and I can feel when there's an attack but I just can't quite feel the crates I keep tripping over."

"What about Chopper?" she asked curiously.

"Oh, his grumpiness is bright and clear."

A little chuckle escaped her lips. "He does have his talents. Door's on your left." It only took a few more moments for her guide him into his cabin, door hissing shut behind them as he sat on the bed. She pulled off her gloves, dropping them on the floor towards the end of the bed and gently reached down to cup his face, thumbs skimming his cheekbones.

Kanan took a deep breath, slowly letting it out as his hands moved back to her waist, pulling her towards him. It was almost like he had to keep reassuring himself that she was still there. "We'll have to... we'll have to figure out a way forward from here. New tactical plans. Ezra shouldn't... I can't..."

"We'll figure it out," Hera said reassuringly. "I'll talk to Sabine and Rex."

His entire body stiffened at the old clone's name. "He'll never forgive me for leaving her there."

“Rex doesn’t blame you.”

“We left her.”

Hera shook her head; belatedly remember that he couldn’t see the gesture. “Ahsoka made her choice. There was nothing else that you could have done, Kanan.”

He ignored her. “We could’ve used the Force to hold Vader off long enough for her to get on board.”

“You told me that he almost had Ezra too.”

“She stopped him.”

“And I’m grateful that she did,” Hera said firmly, dropping one hand and letting the other run through his hair. “The fact that you made it back is a miracle.”

“It wasn’t a miracle; it was Ahsoka. We have to go back,” he rasped. “I can’t feel her in the Force but I didn’t feel her die and she might still be alive. If we could just--”

“I don’t care about Ahsoka! I care about you right now!” Kanan recoiled from the force of her exclamation, tinged with just the slightest hint of her repressed accent. She sighed, shoulders rounding forward. “That’s not what I—”

“I know,” he cut her off. “It’s my eyes that are gone, not the Force.” 

Everything she’d been holding in since they’d left for Malachor suddenly began to take over, making her tremble from emotion before she took a deep breath and let it out again, bowing her head to kiss the crown of his. “We can’t go back, love. Not yet.” He didn’t reply, only wrapping his arms more tightly around her, pulling her closer to him “You’re not—I won’t risk—”

“I’m useless, I know,” he said self-deprecatingly, bitter to the last. “Can’t see, can’t help, can barely fight.”

“Kanan, no.”

“I’m a liability.”

“You just need time.”

“What I need is my sight back,” he snapped. “And then I need to get as far away from you and the Ghost as I can because everyone I care about dies.”

“Stop.” The force with which she said the word, punctuated by halting her reassuring touches, made him snap his head up to look at her. Or at least he would have been if— “We’re part of a larger fight against impossible odds. You don’t get to blame yourself for the deaths of everyone in the Rebellion.”

“I’m not.”

“People die in war,” she said unflinchingly as if she’d never heard him. “It’s a risk we all take and I will not let you blame yourself for potential deaths and leave when you need your family most. You are stronger than this, Kanan Jarrus. You will not martyr yourself over this.”

He swallowed hard, head dropping again. “I’ll be dead weight. I can’t ask you to—”

“You're missing the point,” Hera interrupted him. “You don’t ask. We’re partners and this crew is your family. We will all support you. That’s what love is.”

With a quiet sigh, Kanan surrendered, burying his face in the crook of her neck. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you,” he said, words muffled. 

“You fought the right street gang at the right time,” she teased him lightly. “Charko never had a chance against both of us.”

She could feel his snort of laughter more than hear it. “He barely had a chance against you.” It was another moment before Kanan raised his head and hesitantly pressed his lips against hers as if he hadn’t kissed her thousands of times before. He relaxed a moment later as she twined her arms around his neck, seeming to realize that he didn’t need his vision to kiss her. After five years, they each knew the other’s body as intimately as they knew their own. As they broke apart, his hands shifted from cupping her face to gently rediscovering it. “Still as beautiful as ever.”

“And you’re still as charming,” she replied, shifting to sit beside him. “We will get you through this together, love.”

“But I won’t be the same.”

“No,” she agreed. “But different doesn’t mean bad. I don’t think you’ll let this change defeat you and even if you did… I don’t need a Jedi warrior or a dashing hero. I just need you. If you’re here with me… that would be enough. I love you for you.”

Finally, for the first time since they’d returned, Kanan smiled. “I don’t need my eyes to know your face is doing that thing where you can’t decide whether you want to be irritated with me or kiss me.”

Hera arched an eyebrow. “I have a look for that, do I?”

“Yes,” he replied glibly. “It’s one of my favorites.”

“I’m sure,” she replied with a hint of amusement, rising back to her feet. “You should get some rest.” 

Instantly, Kanan’s hand shot out to grab her wrist. “Stay with me tonight?”

She sank back down to the bed. “I wouldn’t be anywhere else.”


End file.
